Contrasts of Affinity- John 18

John 18 is a powerful, emotional depiction of the reality of what man’s affinity is in contrast to the love and devotion of God. Jesus had poured His heart, life, love and teaching into the disciples and found himself facing the greatest crisis and injustice of his life yet his loved ones’ affinity dissipated as fast as the morning fog. After going to his steadfast Father in preparation while his disciples slept, He found himself crossing over a ravine. This rough spot in His path was not just a speed bump but it was the ravine of the Kidron, where the blood of the Passover Lambs would flow from the channel that led from the temple in Jerusalem. What does this have to do with me, you may find yourself asking?!

Many of us are in a rough spot too, and often it comes from difficulty in relationships, especially to those we love fiercely. We find out in life that the affinity of man, even those closest to us, will fail us. We are broken human beings who do not always walk in the Spirit, and it hurts when someone we love turns away, doesn’t understand or maybe they do not even care. Yet we are not alone. Jesus gets it.

He came to have relationship to us, He proved it by laying down all He had for us, His very own life and yet His own not only failed to acknowledged His love, they flat out betrayed Him. We look at Judas in this chapter, betraying with a kiss. Peter, acting in the flesh, at first cuts off a soldier’s ear, and then in complete self-preservation denies Jesus throughout the time of Jesus’ greatest agony. The people who were supposed to be keeping His Father’s Word and ways were the very ones staging the unjust trials, (six to be exact). The religious leaders were more worried about not being able to observe their Passover than seeing the very Lamb of God before them completing the Passover deliverance for their own souls!

Have you ever had one you love rip your heart out with distorted truth, unjust drama, or to turn completely away and reject you? A pastor who was friends with the famous Rev. Billy Sunday, is not as well-known, but his testimony is a picture of this kind of contrasting affinity. Charles Weigle was standing in a rough spot when his wife turned on him and left him because she did not want to live the life God was calling him to live and to stand beside him. As he released her with agony and stayed steadfast in obedience to serve God, it was not easy but many came to Christ as a result. Her affinity to him stands in harsh contrast to the unchangeable love of God. He tells in a sermon how she died about three years later and he found himself alone in grief but the words to a song came to him in twenty minutes that have impacted millions, “No One Ever Cared for Me like Jesus.” The old song recounts the contrast of God’s unfailing love for us as “a friend so true.” This is what we all long for and can never find in human relationships that are marred by sin.

Jesus was the perfect example in John 18 of the contrast of God’s love and affinity up against mankind. Although he was living through physical, emotional and spiritual hurt, He remained focused, faithful, self-controlled, compassionate, unchangeable, obedient, and trusting in the One who judges righteously (1 Pet. 2:19-23). How do we react when loved ones hurt us? It is easy to let the flesh take over like Peter and want to lash out or hurt back. It requires walking in the Spirit to draw from His fruit of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness and self-control, because we do not have it in ourselves. Jesus healed the very soldier’s ear Peter cut off before that very same man continued to arrest Him. Wow!

There is no doubt that all of us suffer the hurt of rejection and pain when someone we care about may walk out, turn on us or hurt us. The scars are real and heart is broken. The only way to find strength, heal, or move forward is to give it to God. Give them to God. Regardless of how it turns out, give them to God.

Hudson Taylor, the missionary to China, also experienced the turning of his loved one’s affinity as he had waited for his first love and “Seeing that nothing could dissuade her friend from his missionary purpose, the young music teacher-with her sweet face and lovely voice- made it plain at last that she was not prepared to go to China. Her father would not hear of it, nor did she feel fitted for such a life.”

So Taylor handed her and the hurt over in trust to the ONE who loves completely and was later able to declare, “I never made a sacrifice,” as he talked about the incomparable love of His Lord.

When we find ourselves caught in the contrasts of affinity between one we love and our God, we must go forward regardless of their responses, to walk in the power of Christ. We must remain unchangeable, compassionate, focusing on God’s will and self-controlled so that we will not fall into our fleshly thinking and patterns, and try to lash back out of self-defense, anger, rejection or hurt. Yes, the hurt is real, and no we do not have to stay in toxic relationships but we do need to forgive and respond through Christ. We might be standing over the ravine, the roughest place in order to point them to the blood of the Lamb that truly changes hearts, lives and relationships.

Dr. Howard and Mrs. Taylor, “Hudson Taylor’s Spiritual Secrets,” Moody Publishers, Chicago, IL, 2009, p. 29.

Ibid, p.31.