Dealing with Difficult People Series #2- Hope and Comfort....

Anger, frustration, fear, exhaustion, bitterness, unforgiveness, dismay and STRESS only begin to form the list of emotions and conditions of our hearts when we are facing difficult people. Reality tells us that we encounter them everywhere. While driving the speed limit and putting up with the jerk who is on your rear end, when waiting patiently in line for a long time and someone rudely cuts in front of you, when someone does not even let you finish your thoughts before telling you how wrong you are at work, when trying to mind your own business but the gossip decides to spread lies.... man, we have all faced these challenges! It takes it to an entirely different level when the difficult person is in your intimate circle of family or friends. Then it often involves personal heartstrings that are attached to others you love or relationships that are important to you. It becomes suffocating at times when it has to do with your heart's "treasure."

Just know that if you lean into God, He can teach you so much about yourself and Himself. You can come out on the other side with more maturity, discernment, humbleness, compassion and as a witness. You also can come out on the other side with bitterness, unforgiveness, depression, resentment, among other things if you try tackling it on your own. You may not choose how people respond to you or the situation, but you can choose how you handle things. You can begin by depending on God or try to do it with your own pride and self-focus. So, we will begin to focus on what WE can do and how to choose wisely.

When dealing with a difficult person, especially in an ongoing situation it is first of all very easy to give up hope. It's hard to see how things could ever improve, it's hard to see how any good could come out of it and it's even hard to keep trusting God if we believe the lies of the enemy that often accompany these problems. David could identify and we see it in his writings throughout the Psalms. In Psalm 27 he described those who were false witnesses. They had risen up against him, they had bad intentions for him, but he reminded himself of how the Lord would take him up, teach him and lead him on a level path. He declared in verse 13, "I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living." Immediately afterward in verse 14 he bolsters himself up with truth by saying to his own heart, "Wait for the Lord; Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the Lord."

How do we fuel our hearts for such a battle? Psalm 119:49-56 emphasized the role of God's Word and how praising with His Word can make a difference. The writer is talking about God's Word throughout the Psalm and in v. 49-50 he acknowledged how it was God's Word that made him have hope, saying "This is my comfort in my affliction, That Your Word has revived me." Then he gave a description of the pain he was experiencing and how he held on to hope, "The arrogant utterly deride me. Yet I do not turn aside from Your law."

When we are hurting, angry or emotionally charged because of intolerable people it is easy to let go of God's instructions and do our own thing. When we act out of anger, fear or frustration it never ends well. However, the writer explained further how he coped in verse 52, "I have remembered Your ordinances from of old, O Lord, And comfort myself." How do you comfort yourself in these unpleasant circumstances? Do you brood, and justify sinful responses, do you dwell on your own thoughts or God's truth? The first thing you can do is a very positive step. Get into God's Word, seek out godly friends who will pray God's Word with you over the hurtful situations and how you are coping. As we continue this series, we will start to dive into some practical things that God's Word tells us but begin by examining your own heart in light of His Word. Are you using God's Word appropriately or just interested in listening to words from those you want to hear? That is a hard question to pray through but the first one to lead us in the right direction!