Let God Deal with Them

When someone hurts you deeply, or especially those you love, it is one of the most difficult situations to handle. It's easy to let the pain take over and lead you in how you respond. It's happened to me way too many times than I want to count. What happens when it seems those who inflict the pain go on about their merry way? What happens when it feels like the pain will never end and you cannot believe that life just goes on for those who intentionally bully, demean, persecute or leave a wake of destroyed relationships in their path?

We all will face these situations and people. We deal with difficult people at work, in our families, circles of influence and even in the public at large. There are those who do not realize the pain they cause and those who just do not care, but the results are often the same. It usually leaves a gaping hole in the hearts of the ones impacted.

You would think that the scene of the school yard bullying should be long past, but I think in many ways it is worse. The persecution, insults, and hatred are multiplied today through social media and cancel culture. Yet, even if by some miracle it does stay in a private affair, the heart break still surfaces. I even think about the persecuted church. Many have been shunned from family members, physically harmed and their faith ends up costing them EVERYTHING.

We cannot control other people's responses in life, but we do have a choice on our own reactions. We cannot stop other people's words, but we can apply God's wisdom to guard our mouths. We cannot render justice, but we can trust a Good Father. We do not determine how other people cope in life, but we can make efforts to cope in healthy ways ourselves. How?

This is the first blog in a series dealing with the topic of handling difficult people. We may even BE the difficult people... Thankfully, God has a lot to say about this subject and so did others in the Bible.

Let's just look quickly at what the Apostle Paul shared in 2 Thessalonians 1:6-7. We aren't going to discuss the whole chapter, but it always puts things in context to look at the people he was writing to and why he was teaching them. The Thessalonians were newer in their faith and the church was established during a time of great persecution. Their faith was young but being put to the test. They were on the fast track to maturity. Many times, when we too are thrown into trials with difficult people, it provides great opportunities to learn, be a light and mature at a rapid rate! Not the kind of spiritual "Miracle Growth" we usually want!

Paul tells the Thessalonians several things in just these two verses, and we can also apply them. First, he brings up how God is just. This is an important attribute people may overlook or intentionally deny. They deny it until they want justice! God is the perfect measure of justice and compassion, and we cannot wrap our minds around these attributes together. Paul explains that God will deal out justice. He will repay with correct retribution and some translations say, "will pay back trouble to those who trouble you" (NIV) or "repay with affliction those who afflict you." Paul was encouraging them to leave their persecutors in God's hands and let Him deal with them in His time. Paul knew from firsthand experience what it was like to be a persecutor and then to be the persecuted one. He was trying to help these new believers see that God was not like an imperfect judge, He was the RIGHTEOUS Judge who could be trusted.

Paul also assured the believers that relief would come to them. Personally, just knowing that adversity will not last forever is great comfort. We can hold the hope that at some point God IS going to set things right. Where we only see circumstances, and often think we know people's hearts or motives, God really does see the big picture. He does not just ignore injustice.

Today social justice is constantly before us, and we often see angry people taking positions while behaving in ungodly ways themselves. Yet God's character and position go far beyond mankind's failed attempts at righting things. The book of Nahum also describes Him in 1:3 "The Lord is slow to anger and great in power, And the Lord will by no means leave the guilty unpunished."

What do we make of this Holy God in light of how I too deserve just retribution? Romans 6:23 explains how the wages I have earned from my sin are equal to death. What hopelessness if I had to defend myself. God has to deal with sin, and HE will. He doesn't let things just slide. That is why He sent Jesus. The One who knew no sin, so He could become sin for us so then we could take His righteousness in order to satisfy the deep debt we owe. If one chooses not to let Jesus be our Advocate, then we stand before a righteous God to pay for what we deserve on our own.

As I really put these truths into perspective it helps me understand that God can handle people, I do not need to try and be their judge. It's exhausting and frustrating. It is a load we aren't meant to carry. When I was hurt very deeply by pure wickedness it was hard to not grow bitter. I knew the Bible spoke of the danger of bitterness, hatred and unforgiveness. God helped me see by looking at the lives of two different men in the Bible that HE can handle each individual with righteous judgment. Nebuchadnezzar was the Babylonian king described in the book of Daniel who was an evil villain. He thought so highly of himself he wanted literal worship, he threw Daniel's friend Shadrach, Meshach and Abed-nego in a fiery furnace. You could say he was arrogant and difficult to deal with, but God had a plan. He knew exactly how to humble him. God worked in this man's life to bring him to a point of humbly blessing and acknowledging God in Daniel 4. He ended up having to expose his pride to bring him to a place of repentance.

A man named Nabal was a different case. He was mean and nasty. His wife knew it and even his name meant "fool." 1 Sam. 25 tells us Nabal was so mean to David when he was in need that David was ready to take matters into his own hands and kill the man who was "harsh and evil in his dealings." God gave him an opportunity even while he was off getting drunk. His wife interceded on his behalf to save his neck. Instead of being grateful, the Bible tells us that when he learned what she had done "his heart died within him, so he became as stone." In verse 38 we see that the Lord struck Nabal ten days later and he died.

God knew each man; he knew their true hearts and how to deal with them. Our job is to do the next right thing and leave the difficult people for God. God has the attribute of being "just" or righteously fair in His dealings. This is where we will build a foundation for the following articles on handling difficult people. Have you dwelt on this characteristic of God? How does just knowing that God is just challenge you to trust Him to be fair in challenging relationships? What does it look like for you to take your idea of justice before God and ask Him to give you His own heart, wisdom and plan if it is wrong thinking? `